I experimented for one week using only the makeup on my face, or lack thereof. I refrained from using any makeup to enhance my features or hide my flaws. I have cracked the code and guess what… no one cares about what is or isn’t on your face.
I came to school and immediately, I felt uncomfortable. I wanted to hide and I realized that I had begun to cover my face with my hands if I was talking to someone. I would put my hand over my recent acne scar and I felt so anxious that someone would say something.
I realized that on the bad days, my makeup is my crutch. Wearing makeup on a bad day makes me feel better about myself. I got only one comment today from a teacher. She asked me, “Are you ok? You look really tired today.” A classmate of mine agreed. I honestly thought that more people would comment on it, but now I have begun to wonder if it’s all in my head. Maybe people are too busy with their own personal anxiety to focus on my face.
I came to school with makeup on today. At first, I saw no difference in the way people treated me. No one said anything to me about it. However, I noticed that my attitude changed. My confidence was boosted. I didn’t cover my face, I looked people in the eyes more when I spoke and I felt open to talking to new people. I felt like a different person, a more confident person. I don’t really think anyone even noticed I had makeup on. They said nothing to me other than comments like “I like your lipgloss.” Maybe I don’t look as different with makeup as I thought, or maybe people just don’t care.
As of 12:06 I have received no comment about my appearance. I don’t feel as anxious as I did on Monday. My experience on day one made me think differently about the way that people see me. I have noticed that no one actually says anything about how tired I look. Maybe the comments are based on my attitude and not my appearance.
Makeup was once a representation of power in ancient Egypt, but now it is a personal crutch. When my morning doesn’t go as planned, I use makeup to make myself look “better.” I have noticed that it actually makes no real impact on my day aside from how I feel about myself. My days go the same with and without the makeup on my face.
Today is my final day of no makeup. After this week my comfort level with having no makeup on has gone up. The anxious thoughts I had are starting to diminish. I get ready without covering my imperfections. The dark circles under my eyes make no difference to the world around me, they only make a difference to me.
Oftentimes we judge ourselves based on what we THINK other people believe about us. In my experience, we think more about ourselves than anyone else. We think of our appearance and focus on imperfections while others only skim us once and move along. Maybe my crutch is all in my head.